The Room (What is Going on in the Dark Room of your Mind?)

What happens in the dark?

Picture yourself in a dark room. It is pitch black. You can barely see your hand in front of your face.

Do you feel comfortable?

If it is an unfamiliar place, probably not. You probably feel some fear and the urge to get the heck outta there before a killer clown grabs you.

What about if you are in a dark place that you are familiar with? Like your bedroom at night.

Are you comfortable there? Probably.

You are used to the space. You feel safe. Maybe you are so used to it that you have stopped looking around. Your awareness has been put on pause.

But what happens when something shakes it all up? You go to bed and there is a new sound. Or you notice an unfamiliar shadow in the room.

Suddenly, you are hyper aware of everything around you. You might even check in the closest to make sure no one is hiding out.

Have you been in a situation like this?

Were you immediately picturing yourself in your grandma’s creepy, dark basement fumbling around for that jar of jelly? Or thinking about the time you were sure someone was breaking into your room only to find a tree branch scraping against the window?

Ah yes, we have ALL been there at one point or another.

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Now, what about the dark places in your mind? No one likes to talk about those.

When you experience something new, you are usually nervous. It could be anything- a new emotion, a new job or a new relationship. The new things in your mind are like that dark, unfamiliar room.

Why? Because they are unknown.

You have no idea what to expect in this new part of your life. You don’t know if the room is full of great things or if a killer clown is ready to attack.

So what do you do?

• You might try to explore this new place in your mind.
• You might think about it in depth.
• You might weigh the pros and cons.
• You might just walk around bravely until you find the light switch; so you can see what you are dealing with.

OR you might just run away.

• You get the hell out of that room because you just KNOW a killer clown is in there.
• You don’t explore the new part of your mind or your life.
• You stay right where you are. The place that you know and feel safe.

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Let’s talk about this safe place in your mind.

The place that you know. The place that you feel comfortable in… even if the lights go off.

This is the place where the majority of your thoughts are coming from. That safe and common place.

The bedroom of your thoughts that you have lived in forever. Your brain tells you to stay in this safe space. It tells you to stay where you are comfortable and to rely on what you know.

But it’s human nature to be curious.

You don’t listen to your brain and you start to wander outside of that room. Soon, you realize there is an entire world out there. The safety and the thoughts in your room are a very small part of a much bigger picture.

You keep exploring. You keep learning. You are absorbing so much. You are growing.

Then you go back into that old room with your new ideas and thoughts. You turn on the light. When you get a clear look at the thoughts that have always lived with you in that room, you are horrified.

You see things in that room that were always “normal.”

You realize now this isn’t the case.

The things you learned about yourself and life are no longer acceptable to you. They don’t fit with who you have become. Those old thoughts no longer serve you. Those thoughts hiding in the dark corners of your room aren’t true.

You sit down and sort through those thoughts that were put into your mind as a child.

They sound a lot like:

• This is how you “should” behave.
• You should do this. You shouldn’t do that.
• Good girls don’t act that way.
• Don’t say the word “no.”
• Don’t be so stubborn.
• You shouldn’t speak your mind.
• Don’t make a scene.
• Just get along.
• You are a girl, so you can’t do that.
• It is all your fault that something horrible happened to you.
• That older guy preyed on you because you asked for it.
• You don’t matter.
• Your feelings don’t matter.
• No one cares what you think, so you might as well be quiet.

As you sort through these thoughts, you start to cry.

In the past, you would’ve held back the tears. You would’ve been ashamed for being “weak”.

But now, you know that emotion isn’t weakness. Vulnerability isn’t weakness.

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You have learned that feeling your emotions and being vulnerable is actually brave.

What is more courageous than showing up exactly as you are? And feeling all of the raw emotion that comes with this life…your life?

Anyone can build a wall. A wall to shut others out and keep those emotions behind locked doors. Only a select few can emote. Only some can put it all out there and feel it all. No matter who is watching.

Those people are the brave ones. They are the strong ones.

You let those tears fall because you know you are strong.

You know that you can handle any emotion that hits you. You aren’t afraid anymore.

One by one you pick up the thoughts that no longer serve you. You grab the trash can in the corner of the room and you toss those thoughts. It feels good to let them go. It is freeing to realize that they aren’t true. They have no place in your life anymore.

You stand up and look around the room. That room where you are so comfortable. The room that you know like the back of your hand.

Except now it looks different. You start to notice even more parts about it that no longer serve the new you.

You take a deep breath as you come to a harsh realization.

You realize that you have outgrown that room. The room that has been your safe place is no longer recognizable. It no longer fits into the life you are building.

It isn’t your room anymore. The thoughts that make up that room are outdated. You are ready to replace them all. You take one last look around that old room then you step out and shut the door. For good.