The “Shoulds”: The Way You actually SHOULD be Living your Life

Who out there doesn’t feel like they are where they “should be”?

Have you ever felt like you are behind? Or not living life the way society thinks you should? The way your family thinks you should? Your friends? Colleagues?

You go to college, so you can get a good job. Then you get that job and start working a 9–5. You stick with it even if you are miserable because you can pay the bills; you have benefits.

Through your misery you decide that maybe it is because you need to take the “next” step. If you get married and have the big fancy wedding, then you will be happy. You will be taking the path that you “should”. You marry that person who you think is “the one.” OR who you hope is. Maybe you have been together for years and it just seems logical to make that commitment. Maybe you haven’t known each other long, but you just know this is the path you need to take or the decision you need to make. So… soon you are married.

You have the house, the job, the partner…. The dream, right? And yet, something is missing. Ahhh a baby…. Duh…. The family is the next box to check off on the list of “should’s.” You add a baby to the mix. You think all of these things will make you happy. If they do, fantastic! You have built a life that you love and are proud of.

But what happens if you are 10 years down this path and you are full of what ifs? What if I would’ve followed that career dream that was so scary and not safe? What if I would’ve held off on marriage when something didn’t feel right with my partner? What if I would’ve waited to buy that house and have that baby until I was older and more mature.

We can get so caught up in the what ifs. That is not the point of this lesson. Our thoughts are so powerful. They completely control what we feel and how we behave. DON’T use this as a time to bring up the what ifs and let your thoughts get out of control…don’t start to question every life choice you have ever made.

What I want you to do is consider is this….What if we don’t get so caught up in how we “should be” living our lives?

• What if we don’t worry about the path that looks good to society?
• What if we stop checking off the boxes on a list that has nothing to do with what WE want?
• What if we find the courage to follow the path that is meant for us and to live life in a way that works for us?
• What if we follow those dreams and do the things we want without worrying about the judgement that may follow?

The way we “should behave” and what we “should do” is so ingrained in us that we hold ourselves back from greatness. We let fear of judgment and self-doubt run our lives. If our road is a little rocky, our inner critic tells us all about how much we suck and how big of a failure we are. Negative thoughts start to wear on our hearts and minds. We become surrounded with a heaviness that we will do anything to stop…. So what happens?

We follow the path that we “should be” on. We go to college even if school isn’t our thing. We stick with that draining job because it is “safe”. We marry and have children with the wrong person because the clock is ticking and that is what needs to be done to “live a fulfilled life.”

We become consumed with thoughts about what we should be doing. The thoughts we have around being judged. The thoughts we have around being so afraid to step out of our comfort zone.

All of these thoughts keep us right in that well-known path. They keep us on a straight line. They keep us lacking confidence. They keep us from being the person we want to be.

What would it take to transform those thoughts? What would you give to step away from who you “should be” and into the shoes of who you are?

No one can live your life but you. You are our greatest investment. You are the only constant in your life.

People come and go throughout our lives. Who is always there… you.

What will you do today to honor your authentic self and take one step toward the life YOU want?

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